A Simple 20-20-20 Bedtime Routine for More Sleep, Feeling Better, and Less Stress
We spend a lot of time wishing, pleading, ruminating about sleep once we're actually in bed.
But sometimes the better question that I am often asking my coaching clients is:
What are you doing during the hour BEFORE bed?
Because our bodies and brains aren't light switches. We can't necessarily spend the evening answering emails, watching stimulating television, reading upsetting news or scrolling through social media...and then expect our nervous system to instantly shift into a peaceful sleep state the moment our head hits the pillow.
Here’s a hot tip that I often share with clients who are dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, or burnout: Creating a simple wind-down routine can truly help provide a transition between the stimulation of the day and sleep which can improve everything! For many, it’s a stark game-changer.
Start by working backward
One mistake many of us make is thinking, I need eight hours of sleep, so I'll go to bed eight hours before my alarm.
But eight hours in bed doesn't necessarily equal eight hours asleep! It takes time to fall asleep. We may briefly wake during the night or wake before our alarm.
Instead of only having a wake-up time, consider protecting a realistic sleep window and then build in some wind-down time before it.
One routine I love is a simple 20-20-20 approach:
20 Minutes: Take Care of Tomorrow
Spend the first 20 minutes preparing for the next day. You might:
Write down your 3 Most Important Tasks (MITs)
Make your lunch
Lay out your work clothes
Put your gym clothes somewhere visible
Pack your bag
Check your calendar
Put anything you need by the door
I think of this as a mini “I love you” to tomorrow's self.
You're eliminating some of tomorrow morning's decisions and friction!
Instead of waking up and immediately figuring everything out, you've already given yourself a head start.
20 Minutes: Take Care of Your Body
Next, move into your normal hygiene routine.
Brush your teeth. Wash your face. Take medications. Do whatever helps signal that the active part of your day is ending.
Keeping roughly the same sequence each night can also create a familiar cue: We're winding down now.
20 Minutes: Let Your Nervous System Settle
For the final 20 minutes, choose something genuinely calming.
Try reading, gentle stretching, a warm shower, quiet music, an audiobook or a deliberately uneventful sleep story or podcast. One of my clients has recommended THIS one where literally, nothing much happens!
The goal isn't to accomplish anything. The goal is to become less stimulated.
(That's also why scrolling isn't my favorite wind-down activity. Our phones can keep feeding our brains novelty, information, emotion and stimulation when what we're actually trying to do is create the opposite conditions. So sorry, but you’re welcome for me telling you the truth.)
Reading is my fave.
Try a Bedtime Alarm
Here's another ridiculously simple tool that I use myself: Set an alarm for when your bedtime routine needs to START. Mine has a gentle cricket sound.
When it goes off, that's my cue that it's time to turn off the TV and begin winding down.
Without it, it's incredibly easy to lose track of time. One more episode. One more scroll. One more thing to finish...and suddenly the sleep window we've been hoping for is much smaller.
We use alarms to tell ourselves when to wake up. There's no reason we can't use them to tell ourselves when it's time to start slowing down, right?!
And I think there's a lovely reframe here, too. That hour before bed isn't necessarily an hour you're giving up. It's an hour you're investing in how you'll feel tomorrow. Better sleep can mean more patience, clearer thinking, better emotional regulation, more energy...and simply feeling more like yourself.
Tonight, take care of tomorrow's you.
They'll be really glad you did. :)
⬆️ Want more help…? On Instagram, I share a TON of tips and inspo! I’d love to see you there! @uplevellifecoach Just click HERE!
⬆️ Would you love more personalized support?
Reading about these tools is one thing. Figuring out how to apply them to your life…is another. That’s where I can really help!! We can get to the root of what’s keeping you stressed, and really change things so that you feel good again. Ping me HERE!
💛 More joy. Less stress. A life that feels good to live.
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